I have seen people struggle with letting people in and then I have watched empaths struggle with letting people in. Let’s just say that the experience is very different for empaths than for non-empaths. For non-empaths, there is fear that the person may hurt them, for empaths there is a knowledge that letting the wrong person in could absolutely destroy us.
And for anyone who just read that and thought ‘she’s being overly dramatic’- be glad that this isn’t something that falls on your plate to worry about. It does fall on the plate of those of us that are lucky enough to be empaths. The bit of us that allows us to be able to read and relate to people so well, is something that can absolutely be used against us. I will explain it this way: empaths do not half feel anything, which leads to several things.
The ability to feel fully means that we can be extremely happy. It also means that when we decide we like someone-we attach to people very quickly and that our feelings for those people run really deep. That is why betrayals hurt so much. That is why people can hurt us in ways that the average person cannot be hurt.
For me- this lead to burying all the feelings that I felt deep inside. For years, I just buried things down deep and went on about life. Then I started to realize the ‘unfinished business’ that I carried around inside of me was keeping me from fully living my life. It was keeping me from feeling most things, because I was so afraid of letting people in to see how fully I do feel. I was afraid to let them in to see the real me.
So I took a leap of faith back in July and decided that I was going to actively work on letting people in. But I was not just going to let everyone in. I decided to use sound judgment and to let people in who I thought would be good for me- in some aspect of my life. I also had this bite me in the backside shortly thereafter, but I learned something from that experience.
I learned that to experience all of the things I want to experience, I am going to have to take risks and let people in. I am going to have to show people who I am and hope that they can deal with the depth of feelings that I have. And hope that they can understand that wonderful side that comes along with feeling things fully. If they can’t-then they aren’t the person for me and that is alright. I refuse to settle- just because of the fact that how deeply I feel scares some people- because I know there is someone out there that will love that, and every, part of me.