Five years ago-I stopped telling stories. I should clarify-I stopped writing for fun. And I’m not really sure why. It was like my creative juices were just zapped and no amount of staring at a computer screen and hoping words would come could solve it.
At the time- I had been an active fan fiction writer for nearly 8 years and I had also written a couple of my own chapter stories that I published on a website as well. I left Alaska and I just stopped writing. I think some of it was the deep sigh of getting out of that place that I related to a lot of physical and emotional trauma. I also think that I had completely tapped out all of my creative energy, just to keep my sanity.
At around the same time- I began to tackle my bachelor’s degree full force. In English. What does an English involve? A lot of papers. So between losing my creativity and having to do a ton of analytical writing- there just was not any motivation to keep going with writing for fun.
Over the last five years, I have picked up and put down my pen so many times- just willing myself to write. Willing myself to tell stories again. And willing myself to do it- did not make it what it once was for me. So- I left stories half written and reminded myself that when it was time to pick my pen back up again, it would come naturally.
At the end of last year- I decided I wanted to blog again. And this time I really wanted to blog. I wanted to post different articles every day and I wanted to reconnect with what writing does for me. I wanted to reconnect to getting emotions and thoughts down on paper-even if there is not going to be a huge audience reading it.
I am writing again, because I am finally back at a point in my life where I feel like I have time to just enjoy things again. It isn’t that I have not enjoyed stuff at all in the last five years, but I have just been too busy to take the time out to write. To take the time out to create. While it does not exactly make sense- when I looked at the things I had to get done-this just fell off. I am not sure I ever made a conscious choice about it, but it is what happened.
But I also took up my pen again because I want to tell stories of life. I want to tell stories about things that have happened to me and what I have learned from those experiences. I want to tell stories that connect with people. I hope to tell other people’s stories at some point in time too-but that is still on my dream list.
So- I’m writing again because it is something I love. I am writing again because, at the end of the day, I am a better person when I’ve hacked away at something for thirty or forty minutes that lets me express myself. And, mostly, I’m writing again because it makes me happy. There is a lot that I want to do with it-but at the end of the day- the happiness it brings is probably the most important.