Every person has their own bit of stress relief that they like to keep to themselves. For years, writing was my stress relief. And for years I left it (more about that here). After years of a break, I realized that the amount of de-stressing that I got from writing was important. I also realized that I could not write the way I used to because I completely lost my emotions in that writing. I lost a lot of who I was by creating characters that could react the way that I wanted to.
So when I picked back up my pen (or tablet) this time- I knew that I wanted my stress relief back, but I also wanted to really dig in to who I am and just experience what I feel, as I feel it. And not create characters to transfer my feelings on to. Over the last few weeks, I have struggled a bit to find my balance with the stress relief of writing and not emerging myself in the writing. I want to emerge myself some, but I also do not want to get lost with what I think people want to hear. I have been down that road with blogging and social media and I do not want to touch that again. I want to find and have my own voice that is not dictated by likes, follows and comments (which is easier said than done on a public blog).
It’s also why I have been taken some time away from blogging, because right now I am feeling the pull to just make things that people will like, but that will not necessarily suit the purpose of letting me express myself. So- essentially- I am stressing about my stress relief. Which is not something that I really wanted to have happen. I just wanted to write! And enjoy myself. But I also know that one of the essential things for me with writing that really helps is also publishing, because it keeps me accountable to keep doing it.
So, from this lovely ramble, I am going to try to stick with topics that I love. With things that I feel need to be talked about or that connect to me at the moment. And I am going to try to ignore the numbers. I am going to try to ignore all of those things that are so tempting with social media of any kind and just enjoy it. And I know, that if I do that- the stress relief will actually stick as part of my writing.